Back to Routinising Grind!

Posted: October 23, 2009 in Uncategorized

Well, here I am this is me…. No no not trying to imitate any Rock Star with a bit of stubble. He was one of my favourites. I just blurted out my state of mind. I am back to what I best do and what is best suited for me – Writing (some would differ). Cutting away those obnoxious elements I sadly proclaim my return to my daily routinising grind.

Last two days have been good, nothing dreamy. My stars claim that I am an optimist, how rude can my stars be?!

I am turning out to be a historical figure (personifying pessimism). In Bengali I had an “Abchha Kheyaler Adh-Ghum” which when translated in English turns out to be “Not so sound sleep in the midst of Blurring Visions”. My friend was too excited with this weird figure of speech! I was not, as I was suffering from Insomnia and a dash/pang of nothingness, a resounding emptiness within me.

I really do not know, where and how I stand. But I do know that there is an absence of something, some flavour of my life which has gone missing for long.

I also thought over Cipher – “Sifar” (in Urdu) over my holiday. I concluded that my life is coming to a light and sound position where there would no more be sadness and empty feelings. My life is rotating my past, future path and present roads to bring to me the much desired dreams I have often dreamt of. I know I am in the midst of reckoning. The Sifar is coming around well in my life. But the present bouts of madness and void is somewhat killing my existence.

I want to fly high, higher than my dreams could ever fly. I often dream of not being able to catch my breath. But till the Cipher completes, “Here I am this is me” signing off…


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