What do I do?

Posted: November 10, 2009 in Uncategorized

What do I do? How do I do? I have to do but I cannot figure out how to balance my passion and profession. I am suffering from heavy bouts of depression. The KFF (Kolkata film festival) will be beginning the film screenings tomorrow and I don’t know how to bunk my office and watch my favourite films. I have never really missed out on the Kolkata film festival but this year everything seems a bit difficult. I do not have holidays and have only a day to spare in a week.

I am cursing myself for not being able to cut out time for my passion, which has always been films and the filmic world. Like I say (mostly always) I am mad at nothing particular but my disabilities to spring back and sort out this situation. Nobody but myself will be able to understand where I stand. I cannot concentrate on my work properly as the past memories and flashes of films pass my mind. What do people do when they are in this kind of muddled situations like I am presently. I have surpassed all sane behavioural approaches. I am ferociously staring at my PC, biting off my nails and frowning for no reason at all. Somebody please take me out of this dungeon. I have even given a thought of leaving my job so that I can attend the Festival for the week.

Nothing ever seems to fit, nothing much seems to hit, nowhere the light seems to be lit. Where do I go? How do I go? What do I do? What do I do when I have no clue how I am going to do what I want to do? Confusions and Angst Galore. This is me for today. The Tuesday Blues will be here for some time to throw me off balance.


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