Will it be the same?

Posted: December 5, 2009 in Uncategorized

Would you know my name…Will it be the same…I must be strong, and carry on…Cause I know I don’t belong…I’ll find my way, through night and day…Cause I know I just can’t stay…

I know all that I do and all that I try will fall short of completion until I find my way… There is this unending screeching sound which just does not stop. Coming to terms with life is hard for most of us, but getting it all back and then losing it all over again is…

I wonder whether you will know me in my next life. I wonder whether I can win you back in my next birth. I wonder how fast I will trudge along with my present life, when all that is visible in this blurry zone, is our goodness and the wish to carry things forward. I never knew that I would get to see you after all these years. But I have, and this has made all my hopes come alive. The maze is becoming stronger every day. I have often tried to push your thoughts away but I have failed.

I have failed badly in not just pushing your thoughts away but in giving you my friendship. You will never know what I suffer each day. You will never ever know how I try to put up a brave front every morning and go to work thinking that actually you and the possibilities never exist. Putting up a brave front seems so very easy (with all the feigned emotions and attentiveness shown to conquer the world!) but we all know how it goes – we never know what the crux is – ‘Only the wearer knows, where the shoe pinches’.

Whatever be the case, I will try to think that probably this will be our last meeting (because in this world we will never meet again!) since our worlds are torn apart. I will never be able to own up the truth. I can gladly go into oblivion if you ever tell me to, but owning up will never be possible. I thought I could at least be fair with you and reveal it all, but that will never be the case.

…So would you know my name? Would it all be the same? And would you (this time it is all me) play this same old game? … I know I will never be able to find my way, I know and I’m not being able to find my way…Coz I can’t really stay…

But as they sang …. Carry on… Carry on…

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