Posts Tagged ‘you’

deleting_memoriesHow hard is it to erase somebody’s existence from your life? We can choose to cut off all the social networking ties yet remain largely unsuccessful in deleting a person completely from our lives. We need to put in real efforts in doing so, if we are not the people who do not feel anything even when they meet or greet their friends with whom they have fallen out. I belong to the race which does not believe in keeping any kind of contact whatsoever with the one who has cheated on me, taken me down, hurt me for a longer time than we remained friends, etc. 

Saddest part of this reality is the fact that deleting images, notes, texts and contact details are not enough. We need to erase their memories. I consider myself to be a considerably calm person and my efforts have been so far a bit of a success. I have started blocking my own thoughts whenever memories come by. This is one hell of a process. These are people and moments we are talking about, not some random stranger talk. Our effort in deleting someone from our life is solely to let ourselves enjoy peace and the sheer happiness of existence. Life is a constant commotion and why do we need to keep hurting our inner peace? We must release ourselves from all forms of memories attached to these people who have made us feel low in life at some point or the other. 

We are tiny parts of the bigger universe and we have significant roles to play in our lives. We must not hinder that process by crying over past moments and memories. I am not suggesting to avoid memories but what I am trying to say is the fact that we must not think of the bad things. We must let go of all things negative as they hurt US.

WE, US, ME, – These are important as long as they do not make us shallow individuals. Pride and ego are important to make a character stronger, bigger and mightier. We have arrived as sole (and supreme too) entities and our life path will determine our  liberation. A soul is what matters and our only goal is to liberate it from the clutches of negativity, evil, bad blood and bad intent. Only then shall we attain enlightenment. 


dream_bigThis is what life taught me yet again in the past few weeks. That is the same reason why I came back to share my thoughts on this. A couple of weeks back I took my goals, dreams and aspirations way too lightly and let myself go with a somewhat vicious flow of time. I started taking a route which meant I would let go of myself completely – let go of my ideals, beliefs, philosophies and character. I met someone and took a rash decision of settling down – but soon I realized, this was the biggest mistake I was doing. I started hurting a few people around me, not thinking about what I was actually doing!

Such was the rush from the strangers (whom I just met) that I was getting very little time to assess on my ways of life (that I have lived by so far in my life!). However, the day of revelations came by. I came home dead drunk and saw my mother, with tears in her eyes. I was not in my senses to act sober but still I could sense that there were people shouting in my place. Much later in the night I realized it was all about my rash decisions and the way I was not thinking about about my career, goals and passions, but the way I was throwing everything up for a relationship that I myself did not count in high value! 

Then I decided to confront a friend of mine who made me understand (things I very well knew but failed to stress upon.) that nothing good comes by when a person rushes on things. I also understood that I was being wrongly influenced to take on a step in life that was useless. I took time off with myself (as I always do) for a couple of days and decided that ‘I will never let go myself’ – no matter what! As an individual no one should ever do that as it would mean killing one’s own desires, dreams and ways of life. 

The best thing I could ever do (even as a failed poet! 🙂 ) was to dream, and keep on dreaming as that was my world where no one could encroach or intervene, even my parents. That has been the case with me for my entire life. How could I not see these things? However, the best part about life’s teachings is the simple ways you see yourself learning, without hurting anyone, most importantly without damaging your very own SELF – the epicenter of your life’s journey. 

I thank my cosmos, my parents, good vibes around me (no matter how little they come) and my strength of character that have helped me in stabilizing myself. ‘I’ must be counted in every step we take in life. This is what I learned yet again, and so beautifully! 🙂


The Butterfly

Posted: April 13, 2016 in Love, Uncategorized
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It went all black as no noise could be heard.

I tried not to act too casual but then came the dancing butterfly. butterfly.jpg

I had nothing to ride back on your words,

But there came the butterfly

with all the dreamy hues it left me high

and I had no words but a fazed out smile left for me to ride back on your words again.

Blackened notes turned right

as came the soothing sounds of joy along with the butterfly buoy.

And I was left with a pause that never wishes to ready itself up

against the noisy world.

I heave on the colourful dreams,

passed on to me by the sweet butterfly.


Letting out oneself from the comforting loops,

Setting on unknown trails and bending roads

That turn on unknown turns.

Best ways shoot up and the bright lights come up

Just when the known shouts choose to bury us in their known hollow circles.

We will stand by the shriveling traveler selves,

As long as the final lights go out on us ….

Seen from the unknown watch tower, 

that loomed across unknown borders of the green pastures.

We wait with bated breath, 

As you struggle to join us 

Before the last train chugs past all your dreams and destinies.

What is true awakening? Is it seeing, letting one’s thoughts flow or is it never forgettingawakening our very self in each deed we do throughout the day? There will never be anyone around to teach how to awaken our soul, the true territories of consciousness as one has to find his own path.

Let us take an example. Taking a long walk (more like the one taken by P. D. Ouspensky in Saint Petersburg) while never forgetting our own existence will do the trick. At some point or the other we might lose our very intent of ‘not to forget our existence’! What I want to say is the very fact that we tend to forget ourselves while doing everyday chores starting from chatting, house-cleaning to working at office or eating, drinking and other trivial or important works. Even while we think we forget our existence. It is an everyday process (more like a practice) to remember our existence.

When we start remembering ourselves (every single moment) we will get close to awakening our souls. We must observe our senses, watch our minds, track our emotions, feelings, realize our pain and happiness, observe our instincts and impulses in order to remain conscious. We tend to see an object or a place and start connecting with it. In doing so we forget ourselves. We must never get fascinated or attached to any occurrence in our lives. If we attain this we will attain the feat of being awakened.

Controlling our mind is more like an exercise and an everyday pursuit and I am sure with earnest efforts we will ‘not forget ourselves’. This is our ultimate goal as nothing else matters. Realizing and enlightening our souls require hard work – harder than loving, talking, leading our lives, working, taking care of relationships and our families. For humans living in the troubled times like today it will be difficult to focus on this exercise but we can can chant this everyday – ‘Let’s not forget ourselves as we inch towards Awakening’ and we will never fail ourselves!  🙂

soul_searchingIt was the onset of summer. Soon after a sleepless night came a bright sunny day when promises were to be made. At least that is how it all felt. I could hear my heartbeat with each footstep (that inclined towards being fast yet timid). Never did I feel this way but how would I ever know that this feeling existed if I would not have joined my friend for a hearty day out.

As the day progressed urge for more alcohol and less of intense conversation engulfed me. I was failing from within as I could feel I had nothing to give out and nothing left to take it in. I never knew how it feels to fail from within. Being a person who talks with oneself most of the times, this came as a rude shock because  life has taken a turn that I have never experienced before.

One who has been cheated, failed, demeaned and maligned by others will probably be the one who would start having this feeling of failing from within. There have been numerous previous instances of failure in similar lines but I somehow believe that an end to all that strikes only when the heart has seen it all!  I think whenever somebody realizes his/her true self he/she actually comes to an end in realizing all the hurts, pains and existential dramas of life. This is where a person’s true journey of life begins. The individual at this point starts following an unknown path of existence where he/she finds no connection to known emotions, sentiments, failures, pains and dis-harmonies. This is where, I believe, starts the concept of soul searching… to reach a destination that is apparently unknown to us… but with time …. becomes more known than any other ways of our lives.

From the point of soul searching we start identifying our soul, that needs release. For this our only quest in life can be, finding  connection with our-self. In our circle of life we often forget to connect with ourselves, remaining busy in all futile things of existential drama. But when we start doing this, there remains no bigger joy.

Wheels of Fire

Posted: March 21, 2013 in Uncategorized
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Wheels of Fire

Keep Moving, As I Burn MY Desire,

On A Shady Basement Floor.


I Stop Them From Coming

As I lean On a Dangerous Lore.


Baby This Isn’t a Life.

As I keep Drowning In My Flame

Lit In a Bowl of Shame.


I See Your Eyes Burning Me Down,

As I make myself,

Fit Into The Dark Hallway

Living On your Meaningful Frown.


You Move My wheels of Fire.

Access My Desire.

And I go…

…in Your Reasons,

Turning Deep…

Falling Steep.

Help Me

As I’m Yours To Keep.